"They found marijuana growing down by the creek," she went on. 

For a moment I thought my mother had said they had found marijuana growing down by the creek in Moreland, which, of course, couldn't happen in my little hometown of 300 where life has remained calm and serene and where a major scandal is somebody mowing their lawn during Sunday church hours. 

"I don't think I understood," I said to my mother. 

"I said, `They found marijuana growing in Moreland, down by the creek where you boys used to play,' " she responded in an unmistakable definitive tone. 

I got all the details as to who was allegedly responsible for growing the illicit weed and how a helicopter had spotted the growth. 

God, I thought to myself, what do we have here? An episode for "Moreland Vice?" 

I suppose it was inevitable big-time crime eventually would find Moreland. It finds most everyplace else. 
 

No crime, no police
 

But they still don't have a policeman in Moreland - nor a red light - 

and the only crime I remember in Moreland when I was a kid was three rowdy brothers breaking into Cureton and Cole's store and stealing some candy bars and soft drinks. 

They were sentenced to six months of Sunday School at the Methodist Church. 

The first Sunday they beat up three primary kids, drank all the Kool- Aid and stole all the crayons, and when they didn't return the next Sunday, nobody dared contact the authorities for fear they would order the three rowdies back. 

We did have a policeman once, a sort-of policeman. Jake Starkins, a Baptist deacon, discovered there was a pool table in the back of Rainwater's service station, prayed on the matter and got the heaven-sent message to take whatever steps necessary to remove the pool table, thus saving Moreland and its children from what he was convinced would soon be galloping decadence if pool games were allowed to continue. 

Jake declared himself constable of Moreland, painted a star on the side of hi s '53 blue Plymouth and stormed into Rainwater's declaring he was on a mission from God and ordering the pool table removed from the premises. 
 

Took star off the car
 

Unfortunately for Jake and the morals of Moreland's children, the three aforementioned rowdy brothers were in the midst of a game of 9-ball when Jake appeared. They gave Jake a few on the top of his head with their cue sticks. 

When he came to, Jake got back into his Plymouth and drove home. Neighbors said it took him less than 15 minutes to remove the star from the side of his car. 

That creek where they found the marijuana was a special place to me. We dammed it two or three times a week, we caught crawfish from it, and once I convinced Kathy Sue Loudermilk to meet me there. 

Me and Kathy Sue alone at last in the wooded privacy of the creek. Unfortunately, nothing noteworthy became of our rendezvous - a yellow jacket stung Kathy Sue and she ran home crying - but remembering the incident did make me feel a bit better about the recent drug scandal in Moreland. 

Compared to what I was thinking about in regard to Kathy Sue that long ago day, growing a little marijuana becomes a forgiveable misdemeanor indeed.