Until I received my notification, I had no idea an organization existed. But now I am fully aware, and I will be proud to help in the society's primary purpose: 

The society is dedicated to debunking the myth of the Wright Brothers and subsequent, so-called, manned "flights." 

It was born on December 6, 1959, when a group of friends had been invited to Kill Devil Hills, N.C. to honor Wilbur and Orville's alleged first flight on Dec. 17 at nearby Kitty Hawk. 

The night before, described by the founders as "a dark and windy night when nothing flew and even the seagulls bounced from place to place like hoppy toads," the group began to drink heavily. The more they drank, the more they became convinced men flying is just another cruel hoax being played on society. Myth of flight is very old 

The brochure that accompanied my membership offer indicated the myth of men flying has its roots all the way back to ancient times. 

"First, came the nonsense of cupid flying through the air," the brochure reads. "Then, there was the nonsense of Pegasus, the winged horse. 

"Next, came the fabled Arabian carpet. And finally, a piece of flummery about a flying stork that dropped babies down chimneys. 

"Small wonder that humankind, nourished on such nonsense, would readily believe two bicycle mechanics from Dayton, Ohio, could move through the air like winged fowl." 

What, then, of the massive jets of today that are supposed to carry people from city to city at hundreds of miles an hour? 

The society has an answer for that: 

"Airports and airplanes are for the gullible. Little do passengers realize they are merely boarding Greyhound buses with wings. A sell-staged window show 

"While on board these winged buses, passengers are given the illusion of flight when cloudlike scenery is moved past their windows by stagehands in a very expensive theatrical performance." 

So that's how they do it. 

I further learned the society is involved in several worthwhile projects, one of which is a plan to build an Invisible Museum for UFOs. 

Another, being tackled by the White Knuckle Chapter (Austin, Texas) is researching the octane rating of chili gas, in case someone eventually does invent the airplane. 

I, of course, have long been dubious of air travel, as well as afraid of it. If you share my feelings and are interested in joining the society, write to: TMWNFMS, P.O. Drawer 1903, Kill Devil Hills, N.C. 27948. 

All you have to do is send $5 and make the pledge that is the lifeblood of the society: 

"Given the choice, 

I will never fly, 

but given no choice, 

I will never fly sober."